ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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