you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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