I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize