Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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