can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
