if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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