like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
