im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
