I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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