Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize