Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
