Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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