it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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