hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
