I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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