It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
