I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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