Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
