well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
