PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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