The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
