remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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