God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
