What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
