Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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