I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
