so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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