you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
