its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
