They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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