Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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