Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
