If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
