It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
