i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it