Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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