About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS