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• (702): View more from Nevada

  just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?

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• (949): View more from California

  I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.

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• (845): View more from New York

  the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

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• (209): View more from California

  This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"

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  These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka

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• (409): View more from Texas

  You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?

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