Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
