just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
