If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
