Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize