After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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