remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
