Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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