You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
