If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
