yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
