You're my little dorito
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
