We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
last night I used snow as a chaser
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
