I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Who died my cat blue again?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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