He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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