I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
