My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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