My hair reeks of homosexuality.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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