this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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