So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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