I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize