Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
