he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
