he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.