Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon

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  (310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon http://tfl.nu/qfy4
  Replies (21) Good night (495) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Me. At least after what I've been through.

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  (540) Me. At least after what I've been through. http://tfl.nu/4dym
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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  (508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6
  Replies (18) Good night (2358) Bad night (618)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

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  (779): Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me. http://tfl.nu/6ngm
  Replies (6) Good night (2731) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.

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  (949): mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday. http://tfl.nu/tvnz
  Replies (38) Good night (487) Bad night (4128) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.

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  (914): you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/cp2f
  Replies (21) Good night (1072) Bad night (6901) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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  (813): I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this? http://tfl.nu/o9lt
  Replies (37) Good night (13256) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

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  (763): Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/r7p2
  Replies (7) Good night (5460) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one

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  (812): ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one http://tfl.nu/2d1e
  Replies (16) Good night (783) Bad night (4112) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????

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  (312): ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because???? http://tfl.nu/17np
  Replies (5) Good night (2714) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once

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  (707): I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once http://tfl.nu/s42e
  Replies (5) Good night (785) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby

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  (763): I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby http://tfl.nu/ll5m
  Replies (10) Good night (478) Bad night (2332) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned

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  (336): Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned http://tfl.nu/hhst
  Replies (4) Good night (1103) Bad night (1745) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.

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  (330): When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table. http://tfl.nu/dlsi
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (486)
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  (845): View more from New York

  YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE

  (1-914): View more from New York

  YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.

  (845): View more from New York

  I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER

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  (845): YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE (1-914): YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING. (845): I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER http://tfl.nu/t573
  Replies (7) Good night (1822) Bad night (240)

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