it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize